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PERFECTIONISTS OFTEN TIMES PROCRASTINATE
Tick tock goes the clock. The seconds fly by to be replaced by their cousins, the minutes/hours and before you know it a whole darn day has evaporated into thin air.
Many of us try and save time by procrastinating: putting off to tomorrow what we do not want to do to-day. The experts tell us that 75% of us are the dreaded procrastinators. 80-95% of university students engage in putting things of till to-morrow. 95% of the ‘P’ people wish that they could change their behaviour.
Most of my clients who describe themselves as perfectionist are also procrastinators. Realizing that it takes a lot of effort to actually achieve the perfect project they delay. Delaying takes the stress off for a while until the dead-line looms.
It is very hard to work with those who look for perfection because they expect you and I to be also Mr/Mrs Perfect.
When we can not/do not want to try and fulfill their high expectations we are often cast aside. That is why most perfectionists prefer to work on their own; not trusting others to try and live up to their impossible expectations.
We do not have to try and be perfect. Being only poor mortals we all have flaws that we should recognize and embrace.
There is a price for procrastination, When you constantly defer and do things in a rush eventually everything in your life becomes a last dash. It isn’t about thriving, it is all about surviving.
In my counseling practice I find that far too many of my young female students are perfectionists. Stress is part and parcel of their daily lives. Getting a good nights sleep is sure hard when you worry that you haven’t lived up to their own/parents/teachers impossible expectations.
Most women are pleasers. They have been taught to please their parents/boy friends/husbands neglecting their own needs. Ultimately they have to learn to please themselves.
For many young women chilling out and enjoying the day is hard to do. They have learned to be multitaskers: student’s council executive, dance/voice/piano lessons along with two-three hours of school homework a night to try and achieve top student status takes a heavy toll.
Many young men have learned to get by with decent marks along with plenty of sports activities to take on the day. XBox/TV/MSN can easily take up five hours of their day. Very few young men complain about stress.
If we are organized life becomes oh so much simpler. Practice putting things away and you will be ahead of the game. Don’t put it down, put it away makes our lives a whole lot easier. Using a planner on a daily basis allows us to manage our lives in an orderly fashion.
Try and remember the old adage: ‘Yesterday is history, to-morrow is a mystery, to-day we call the present, it is a gift”.
Len Lesser