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THERE ARE WORSE THINGS THEN A BAD REPORT CARD
From time to time I receive emails from anguished parents concerned with the welfare of their children. Hold your breath folks.
A mother passing her son’s bedroom was astonished to see that the bed was nicely made up and everything was neat and tidy. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed to Mom and Dad. With the worst premonitions she opened the envelope with trembling hands.
Dear Mom & Dad.
It is with great regret and sorrow that I am writing to you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with you. Folks I have developed a real love for Dolly. She is oh so nice. I am afraid that you would not approve of her just because she is an ex-exotic dancer with only a grade eight education.
I know that you will fret because she is twenty years older then I am. Please understand it is not only passion. She is pregnant with my twins and we are expecting in six months time.
Dad/mom please don’t worry. I know that I am only seventeen; I am confident that I can take care of myself. Someday real soon I am sure we will get back to visit so you can get to know Dolly and your grandchildren.
Love always,
Your adoring son,
Albert
P. S. Folks , None of the above is true. I’m over at grandmas. I just wanted to show you that there are worse things in life then my report card that is on the kitchen table. Call when it is safe for me to come home.
Dad/mom your son/daughter’s dismal report card all things considered isn’t catastrophic , There is hope - Summer School. The exams are over and the report cards are to be available July 1. If in doubt how your children faired please call the school’s guidance department.
Summer school for most areas runs for the month of July. Most students enjoy their courses and for the most part find success having the opportunity to focus on one or two courses. Attendance/skipping is not a problem allowing you to miss only two periods. Like unto baseball on your third strike you are out.
Len Lesser