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PARENTS OWE THEIR CHILDREN UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

Recently I worked with a parent who was quite disturbed. Her eighteen year old son ‘Adam’, had recently shared the secret with his parents that he was gay. Strange, his dad seemed to take the news quite well: mom was not happy that dad had shared the information with me.

Dad thought that the information of his son’s sexuality might alter the results of the Strong Interest Inventory Assessment I explained to both parents that one’s sexual preference had little to do with one’s career preferences. Male or female, black or brown, straight or gay really didn’t matter. It was all about the strengths/weaknesses that one espoused.

Adam’s very strong self-concept; enjoyment of education and very positive personal skills were most important to his future career choices. He was most definite in his choice of career options with the majority of his selections falling under the umbrella of the Investigative/Social areas.

One’s race, colour, sex, I.Q and family ties are pre-ordained. You do not have the choice of choosing your family. If you are most fortunate to have bright parents then you too have the opportunity to do well in school. I believe that one doesn’t choose their sexual orientation: rather sexual orientation chooses you.

Adam was a very bright gifted young man who had educated professional parents that had graduated from university. He had done well in high school with an A average following in his folks foot-steps. He was six foot six: a natural for volleyball or basketball but he didn’t like to compete. He looked on basketball as a social game to be enjoyed with his friends rather than being able to win and dominate your opponent.

Adam’s survey of seventeen choices showed that Loving was his first choice and Competition was dead last. He is a wonderful son/brother/friend who wants to make a difference with his fellow man.

The career testing showed he had a very high correlation to Physician, Pharmacist, University Professor, Optometrist. With his high scores in Science, Medical Science, Health Care Services he is a natural to pursue a career in Medicine.

Mom and dad were ever so happy to learn of their son’s strengths and the great future that lay ahead. When the folks were leaving I asked them to stay behind for a minute. I advised them that when Adam bared his inner thoughts with them that he was gay it was a sacred trust that they should appreciate. They were not to put asunder his faith in them to respect his choices. They were most fortunate to have nurtured a fine, talented young man: they should be very proud to call him their son regardless of his sexual orientation.

We owe all of children our unconditional love.

Len Lesser