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THE LEN LESSER REPORT

 

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ABUSE IS A SAD REALITY TO MANY WOMEN

The abuse of women recently has been front page/tv news in Canada and the USA. The video of football player, Ray Rice February 19th in the elevator of a casino dragging his unconscious fiancee by the hair went viral. The video showed him punching his fiancee in the face with a full right hook that knocked her out. Sad, that one month later the couple got married.

Jan Ghomeshi, the former host of CBCís television show "Q" has had his dirty laundry splashed across the media. So far eight women have come forth complaigning of the work place/personal abuse. In his work he was allowed to bully and abuse the members of his staff. Women who dated him found themselves akin to punching bags from his fists and yet they sometimes excused his behaviour trusting him to not re-offend. The Toronto Police on November 26th have charged Ghomeshi with assault and choking his victims and he is awaiting trial for his offences.

Bill Cosby who was one of my favourite tv personalities; at the age of 77 has been accused of raping women 30 years ago. Netflix has cancelled his contract to show reruns of his tv shows along with other media representatives that are now treating him as a pariah

With all of the news of abuse of women I wanted to find out: who and why do men abuse? I wanted to look behind the veil - inside the minds of men who abuse. Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women sending over one million every year to doctorís offices or emergency rooms. For the most part the violence isnít from strangers but from the hands of men that said; "I love you."

What is domestic violence? Domestic violence is when a partner verbally, emotionally and sexually abuses their intimate partner by exercising power and control over them. The violence occurs in all cultures, races, religions,, classes and same sex relationships. 95% of all reported domestic cases are men abusing women and 5% are women abusing men.

Every twelve seconds a women is abused by her intimate partner in the USA. These numbers are staggering but remember this is only what is reported to the police, imagine how many women are being abused and do not report it to the authorities.

There are five types of abuse, emotional-mind games, verbal name calling, social media, sexual, and physical-killing, punching and choking.

Profile of an abuser. They tend to be more neurotic, less agreeable, less extroverted, more authoritarian then the average man. They often demand unquestionable obedience and are more punitive to those they consider to be weak. They often feel little compassion for those who they perceive as inferior.

Women who have poor self esteem seem to be more likely to not complaign of their tormentors behaviour not wanting to end the relationship because of having to admit that their relationship was a failure. A women trapped in her marriage may be willing to tolerate more violence.

When I asked a friend of mine who is a psychiatrist: "why do men rape women?" his answer angered me: "because they can."

To change the status quo, society has to change - to demand full and equal participation of women in the political, civil, economic, social and culture life of the community. Yet, despite the progress, women and girls still comprise the majority of the world`s unhealthy, unfed and underpaid.

Twenty years ago American women earned .72 on the dollar. To-day it is not still equal. Women also hold the majority of the lower wage jobs in the U.S and Canada. Nearly three quarters of the work in these fields that rely on tips; waitresses, bartenders & hairstylists that are paid less then the minimum wage. Meanwhile only a small percentage of the Fortune 500 CEOs are women.

All men and women are created equal and must have the inalienable rights to equality and freedom to self actualize.

So how does it change? Fathers and mothers have the duty to raise their girls and boys in an atmosphere that teaches respect and love for everyone. Education breaks down economic, social, racial barriers and opens the doors to welcome young people to risk to make this world a more welcoming place for all to live in peace.

Len Lesser

Len Lesser posts a report every week

You can email Len at lenlesser@hotmail.com