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BE A MENSCH AND PICK UP THE CHECK
For those who have not lived in Toronto a mensch is a Yiddish (Jewish) term meaning a person of integrity; someone to emulate.
Have you ever gone out for lunch at the Town & Country Pizza with your 20-40 year old son/daughter who never ever offers to pay the bill? The owner, Angela, told me that 10% of adult children pick up the check.
You have paid their way through 4-6 years of university and many are still living in your home with an ensuite, free of charge.
With a decent income and no expenses accept for a couple of nights out with friends their bank account is flush with money. No reason to pay cash when the folks always pay for their credit card payments in full at the end of each month..
Why, then do many of our adult children do not offer to pay the check? Perhaps too many of our adult children - I love the part about the word adult followed by children who are 30-50 years of age. They still describe themselves as being dependent millennial trying to find themselves; the parents are hoping that some day real soon their children will be self sufficient.
The "kids" feel they are entitled and actually deserve all that the naive parents can offer up to keep them in the comfortable life style that they have been accustomed to.
Does it seems odd to you that many of our sons and daughters conveniently always seem to forgot to bring along their wallets along when they are out for dinner with their folks? They seem to be able to order the most expensive choices on the menu but you being the kind benefactor you just suck it up and just pay the bill.
Take a bow folks. You, the parents have taught your children well to never ever have to grow up and be responsible for their expensive life style.
I have a suggestion for you to contemplate: the next time you are out for lunch: you do not pick up the check. Let the bill stay on the table. Simply, wait an stare until the kid asks: "who is going to pay the bill? You should shrug your shoulders and answer, "I don’t know?" When the moocher asks: "aren’t you going to pay?" You ask "Why?" If the moocher tells you that "you are the adult" you can remind them they are over 30 and can no longer can claim child benefits.
I do not think there is anything wrong about coming right out and suggesting that it is long overdue that being a mensch is the honourable thing to do. They should pay the bill.
Len Lesser is a counselor in Dorchester Ont.
Len Lesser