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THE LEN LESSER REPORT  

THE LEN LESSER REPORT

 

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DIVORCE- THE INS AND OUTS OF MARRIAGE

Why do so many marriages end in divorce? I went on line and found "Divorce Magazine .com" that had some very interesting Canadian statistics: the most recent number of divorces granted was 69,644. The average duration of the marriages was fourteen years.

I wanted to learn more of the ins and outs of divorce and was advised by a three -time divorces, "Ben" that his lawyer was the very best in London.

Bill kindly granted me an interview to better inform me of all of the travail involved with the divorce dance. He has been practising law for 32 years specializing in family law for the past 16 years.

Divorce occurs in all peoples regardless of cultural, religious, career or economic status.

He started off the discussion by telling me that: Peopleís expectations in divorce proceedings are expensive if you win and crippling if you lose. Compromise is the name of the game. There are only two ways of ending a marriage: Death or divorce.

Divorce to-day is virtually on demand; you no longer need a reason, one year of separation is sufficient grounds for terminating a marriage.

Support, child care and distribution of wealth accumulated in the marriage can often be an issue. There is a legal duty to support the children ending at the age of eighteen. However, there are "adolescents" in their thirtyís who are still content to live off their parentís alimony payments

In regard to common- law- marriages where two people establish a marriage like union, it produces no support rights. The justices have ruled that if you want protection under the family law act you have to be legally married.

There are myths that the final decree of a divorce eliminates the legal responsibilities of the parties. Wrong. You may well be responsible to pay for your spouses, medical insurance and other obligations indefinitely. A wealthy client was told by the judge that he was on the hook for his daughterís first year ($50,000) program at Parsonís School for the Arts in New York City.

The longer the marriage assuming one of the partners is not self sufficient and in in need of support, to maintain a reasonable life style, determines the amount of spousal support. Reasonable is the optimum word.

Generally it is the mother who stays home to care for the children. She devotes 24/7 to the family taking herself out of the work force while the men focus on their career aspirations.

People marry because they think they are in love but in fact too often

they are often in lust. When the hot flame flickers often the marriage dies. People tend to change and many are not prepared to make the adjustments. The wives are looking for growth and the husbands are pursuing their mindless day to day work.

Most men never saw it coming. They are content with the status quo. No apparent need for flowers, or a romantic candle lit dinner.

Moneys are allocated according to need. Resources and wealth are distributed equitably so both partners can suffer equally.

Couples who wish to fight are reminded that a lot of time and money can be spent in vain. Remember to leave your anger, broken hearts at the courtroom door. The justices are not happy with appeals.

Most young lovers never think that their marriages could fail. After the divorce the older/ wiser couples before they say: " I do" agree to have a prenuptial agreement.

Remember, the sages remind us that: "You can marry in haste and then can repent in leisure."

Len Lesser is an education/career counsellor in Dorchester, Ont.

Len Lesser

Len Lesser posts a report every week

You can email Len at lenlesser@hotmail.com