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I trust after reading the the ‘Orchid and Dandelion’ children you have taken the time to figure out who is who in your family. We are all born with a clean slate but we pick up baggage along the way.

By the age of eight most children’s personalities are set. They choose for the most part to be dependent or independent children.

As a rule each family gives birth to at least one or more of the unique distinct characteristics. You are most forunate to give birth to two or more Dandelions. Like weeds they will flourish with little of no intervention (help) on your behalf.

But, if you have two or more Orchids it can be a living hell for many many, many years of pain.

It is the role of the Dandelion siblings/parents to always take care of their Orchid child. The Orchid child embraces a symbiotic relationship with the family. Like a Lamprey Eel they are content to take their fill but do not want to give back or see the need to ever say "thank- you"

When the family finally yells "ENOUGH" the dependent delicate Orchid child will have look to find another ‘Sucker’ to tend to their needs/wants. Trust me there is always another fish in the pond who feels the need to give comfort to those who can take care of themselves but do not see the reason why.

You can’t blame the Orchids; they have been taught very well to play their role as the takers and you the parents/siblings to be the givers. Like Shakespear’s; " "As you like it: All of the world’s a stage and all of the men and women are merely players."

There is the story of Jamal a philandering panhandler in the village whose patron saint was Dwayne. One week Dwayne told Jamal that: "He had a bad week and could only give him $5.00 instead of the usual $10,00". Jamal cried out that "just because you had a bad week why should I have to suffer."

Good luck to the parents who try and change their Orchid children into Dandelions. You can employ the best hardest working counselors, psychologists to intervene but nothing is going to change until your Orchid child decides that they are adults and can take the responsibility for themselves.

Len Lesser is an education/career counselor in Dorchester, Ont.

Len Lesser

Len Lesser posts a report every week

You can email Len at lenlesser@hotmail.com